Types of Domestic Violence


A lot of people when asked the question, “what is domestic violence”, usually identify the 6 types, it’s not wrong, sexual, financial, emotional, psychological, physical, and verbal but there are far more than that.

Focusing only on these six and making them the well-known archetype of abuse, excludes those that may have been harassed, as its not widely known as abuse, it is, the typical conversation I have had with survivors is, “are you sure you’re not abused?” and they come back with “no he doesn’t beat me” sadly some who are extremely abused have no idea they are, but let’s start with the 6. Assuming the abuser is male and victim female.

Sexual: forcing you to have sex, or making the victims participate in acts that they do not wish too and forcing them to have sex with friends. Touch you in a way you don’t wish to be touched, make unwanted sexual demands, pressure to have unprotected sex, if you don’t want to have sex and your partner forces you, its rape.

Rape is raping no matter if it’s with your husband, it’s against the law.

Financial: Disposing of property without the victim’s permission, taking over assets keeping money that they are legally entitled too, keeping the spouse from having anyway to get out of the marriage/relationship. If working - taking victims money and giving them an allowance and expecting them to provide for the family when they know they are unable too. Checking every receipt to see if they have spent more than the abuser wants them too. When the victim purchase something small for themselves the abuser will make a big purchase for themselves, when they take the allowance away for any reason BEWARE, that could be a trigger for a beating… they may also wish the victim to repay them for an item they have purchased for themselves, abuser may not allow the victim to work. Financial abuse is a subset of Emotional abuse.

Emotional: insulting, humiliating them in front of people, a victim has a feeling of walking on eggshells, always making them feel less than they are. They have no voice. Rules and regulations are given to the victim to follow, while the partner has none, they constantly say sorry even when not in the wrong, basically breaking them down, until at times they start to believe it, mostly after the many fights he cries and says it will never happen again, sadly experience shows, they will. They will also try to turn the children and family against you.

Psychological; Psychological is abuse without the scars and bruises as in physical abuse but, it’s just as damaging possibly worse, and the effects can last a lifetime.

Intimidation, isolation, keeping, the victim from friends and family, monopolizing and controlling, threats of physical harm, ignoring, swearing in front of people, threatening to harm the children, and threatening to harm themselves if you leave, they threaten suicide. Not allowing the victims opinions or having friends, but he can have his, insulting the victim in front of their friends and they have been taught to laugh along or when they get home watch out, never tell him he’s wrong in front of his friends even when he is. Psychological abuse can have adverse effects on children and impair them into adulthood.

Physical: The easiest to detect for obvious reasons, but some abusers become very clever and punch or hit the woman in areas where clothing will cover, or beat a woman in such a way there is no bruising also in places where it can’t be witnessed as in the quiet of the home behind closed doors. Punching, slapping, hitting with an object, could be a plank of wood, a gun, brick, and stabbing, throwing objects, throwing the person across a room, strangling, suffocating, and raping this is viewed as a crime and the survivor can lay a charge whether the victim is married to the rapist or not and shoving. The abuser will threaten the victim not to tell, and the victim will make excuses like walking into a door, falling downstairs etc., and will obey the abuser for fear of repercussions.

Verbal: shouting, screaming, swearing, threatening, calling the victim stupid, ugly, fat, saying “you can’t live without me”, and “you can’t make it without me”, “you have no sense of humor”, “don’t ever do that again or I will hit, punch, or kill you”, and “you’re going crazy”. Telling her you’re going mad and need psychiatric help, is the norm.

As you will probably only deal with the 6 we have covered, I have included 12 other types of abuse, that you may or may not encounter. Some of the following examples are not inflicted by an intimate partner, but by a family member or directed by a family member to execute. Some will be classified Domestic Violence that will be the 6 examples mentioned previously, (by means of an intimate partner or close family member).Gender Based Violence directed by a person known or unknown or a cultural / religious reason for it to be performed, without the permission of the victim.

Having said that all examples are violence.

Religious: Abusing by bad mouthing a person’s beliefs, this is against the constitution. Can happen at work, individual can be known or not by the victim.

Elderly abuse: Usually happens in retirement homes, or in families as the elderly, can easily be abused for their pensions, this happens very often.

Disabled abuse: Abusing physically disabled people in homes or facilities.

Stalking: following, Watching, phoning, hiding and spying the victim, or the family of the victim, may not be known by the victim, or related.

Female genital mutilation: This happens mostly in central Africa but is also happening in migrants that live in Europe. performed by family.

Honor killing, mostly happens in Asian countries, family retaliation.

Dowry deaths: Again, it mainly applies in Asian countries, family retaliation.

Harassment: Usually known to the victim, by phone, following, E Mailing but not related to the victim.

Sexual harassment in the workplace: Making unwanted sexual remarks, touching, grabbing, staring and whistling.

Cyber bullying, Abuse by web, internet, threatening emails sending foul emails, disturbing information, to the victim, harassing, by cyber.

Bullying: Usually happens at schools, or possibly in the workplace.

Mobbing: Primarily is workplace abuse, another form of bullying usually by one person on another and then, others jump on the bandwagon to gang up on one person.

Regarding harassment, you can take out an anti-harassment order, as well as making a statement at a police station regarding cyber bullying, stalking, and elderly abuse, physically disabled abuse, a few of these examples are situations whereby you may not know the perpetrator and are not related or intimately connected to you, with the protection order they are known to the victim.


The Anti-harassment order like the protection order can be acquired at the magistrate’s court.


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